Sunday, January 17, 2016


It's incredibly hard to believe that just nine weeks ago, Joe and Bonnie were simultaneously posting pictures on Instagram… each commenting on the other's.
That's my Cousin Dale with his bride, Bonnie - our adopted cousin - celebrating their fortieth anniversary at Niagara-on-the-Lake, their traditional go-to place for such important dates.
Joe, Moi, Christian, Brian, Bonnie holding Maddy, Dale, Vicki,
Kim holding Keith, Ron, Pam holding Alex, Mom embracing Nicole
and Khrista
Meanwhile, Joe had taken a picture of an old picture and posted it. There we all are in front of the Old Homestead, twenty years ago. We'd had a huge party in celebration of Christian's graduation from Binghamton… and someone had the sense to gather family members for this treasure. Bonnie thanked us for sharing the photo.

Nine weeks ago.

Just last week, after her horrid diagnosis, Bonnie had commented on Brian's FaceBook. Who knew?

Thursday morning, as Nicole traveled home with a first very special GrandLove, Bon left us. She never met Dominic, something that will drive me nuts till my own dying day. All that potential for such special love, lost.

I understand shock and am reliving my Dad's death, a month after his similar diagnosis. I was young, like Khrista, Nicole and Maddy. It is so hard. So very hard. Their brains, I'm sure, will swirl endlessly. And Dale. Those two… you couldn't say Bonnie without saying Dale, or Dale without saying Bonnie. Brutal.

So, yesterday brought us a crystal clear beach day. A glory day. We walked with heavy hearts, though, carrying Bonnie along with us. Porpoises swam not far from shore, in the same direction we were headed. The beach. The special place the four of us - Dale, Bonnie, Joe and I - shared such intense love of. Had we been sharing yesterday's beach, the conversation would have been something like this, with any one of us saying the words, over and over again:

"What a gorgeous day!"
"OMG, do you BELIEVE this day?"
"This is a ten day."
"Ah, this is what it's all about!"
"Can you BELIEVE this!" (rhetorical question repeated)

 I recall on one such day hooking Bon up to my iPod, as we sat on Cape Cod shores, asking her to please listen to the music from "Jonathan Livingston Seagull." She listened. She loved. And yes, even on a glory looking day, that sky can appear to be so lonely. We miss her, already. We are in disbelief. The world is at a true loss with Bonnie's special brand of kindness gone.

Glory looking day
Glory day, Glory looking day
And all its glory
Told a simple way

Behold it if you may
Glory looking day
Glory looking day
Lonely looking sky